Ah, girl-issues. My daughter is having some issues with her classmate.  Too bad her classmate’s mother got serious and contacted the principal.  The end result was that my daughter was called to the teacher’s office and got scared. Why couldn’t everyone just relax and let the girls figure out the resolution?

A: the teacher of her class

B: Vice principal

X: My daughter

Y: Her classmate

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17 March 2009

Dear Ms. A and Mr. Vice-Principal B,

I’m writing this letter to express my concern about a recent incident happened between my daughter X and her classmate Y.

After today’s school, when X came back home, I found her crying in her room alone. I asked her what happened, and she told me that Ms. A talked to her and sent her to Mr. B because yesterday she told Y: “do not follow Tracy.” She explained that she understood she was not supposed to play with Y these days, and that she said the sentence only because she was sitting close to Tracy.

X told me Ms. A mentioned the word “bully” and wanted to send her to Mr. B to discipline her (and fortunately Mr. B was not in the office).

I have been paying attention to the relationship between X and Y for a while now. I understand they are not supposed to play with each other to avoid possible issues between them. I told X that she should not request Y to be away from Tracy (or anyone else in school for that matter), even if her intention was to keep the “no-playing together” rule between Y and her.

I do, however, believe that the word “bully” is a bit too strong for X. She is a very sensitive girl; while sometimes she could be strong-minded, she never meant to threaten other people. We have been very strict with her, and whenever there is a problem between her and her friends, we start with asking her what she did wrong. Perhaps as a result, she would be easily scared and fail to explain clearly what had happened. I guess the decision of sending her to the principal have likely put unnecessary mental burden for this 7-year-old.

The way I interpret the incident between Y and her is that it happens all the time between young girls. It is through these very conflicts, they grow up and mature.  If I were Y’s mom, I would not have reported these to the school and would instead talk to my daughter and use the opportunity to teach her how to deal with the situation. I remember X crying at home a while ago saying that one of her friends said something like: “I am not your friend.” I told her sometimes friendship is not bi-directional, and suggested to her that next time she could shrug it off.

I sincerely appreciate Ms. A’ attention to this matter, your approach is very similar to ours; and we highly value your judgment to help X to form the right view about friendship and relationships. I hope you can be a bridge to communicate between Y’s mom and us, so the issues between kids remain theirs. What I suggest is that maybe the grown-ups can interfere less about the girly issues and take a more relaxed posture when this happens again. Of course, I’ll do my best to let X know that “if you truly love something, set it free.”

Sincerely yours,

Beautiful interpretation of Chopin, an Inspirational and passionate speaker.

Came across the following figure on the Internet. I had IV just before the new year’s day due to a serious flu. During the lunar new year, I of course had the second and third bottle. Life is so simple.

I love what I’m doing right now!